My Forever: FateStay Night
by sylversuicune-88
Summary: 3 months after the Holy Grail War, what has become of Shirou? Is he mourning over Saber still? What if he was given the chance to see her again? What would he say next? OneShot. R&R please! ShirouxSaber


**My Forever: Fate/Stay Night**

(An adaptation from the Anime Fate/Stay Night. An AU fic. Please do not flame. And do R&R. I'm happy to obliged people's comments. Thank you!)

It's been a while since I saw her last; her glistening blonde hair, her mellow green eyes… and her beautiful gentle smile. It was all that I could remember now that it's the month of May – three months after the Holy Grail War. But despite how sad and hurt I felt, I can never seem to cry. I had wondered everyday, but I can never figure out why. Have I turned heartless? Have I turned cold and shunned from warmth?

Tohsaka, Illya and Fuji-nee had been pestering me about my health and though I told them that I was fine, they won't leave me alone and stop worrying. Even when I smiled they would say that I shouldn't keep my pain in and that I should find someone to talk to. But how can I, when I can't cry or embrace the sadness that _she_ had left behind? I know I told them I would forget these memories one day but… I guess I lied.

"Trace: on,"

I slowly opened my eyes and stared down at the object I held in my hands. My heart clenched at the sight of the beautiful sword she used during the war; its gold and blue markings twinkled against the moonlight that streamed down from a window above me. It may be an image I had in my head but in my heart I know it's as real as hers. It's as if I'm holding the only piece of her and it was the closest I can get to continue loving her. And I would close my eyes and pray silently for her to appear before me again, the same way when she had those months before. If it wasn't for her I could've been killed by Lancer, and I couldn't have met her at all…

I stood up, held the hilt tighter and started to swing it around as if I was in battle. The silent swoosh and whisper at every swing still gave me the chills as I took a step forward and stabbed the cold air, its sharp tip gleamed. I took another swing, this time stabbing the wooden floor with all my might. Although she left to the place where she truly belonged, my strength hadn't and it made me think; made me wonder why and for what purpose. I pulled the sword out of the floor, turned back and swung the sword several more times, this time using the same moves she had taught me in her favourite place – the dojo.

I turned my head and looked out the door, across the front yard, and to the door that I had left open, hoping she'd come back… to me. I tore my eyes away and looked down to the sword shining back at me. Is she thinking of me, wherever she is, _is_ she thinking of me? It would've been better if I had the chance to hold her and whisper to her ear, telling her I love her, and then kiss her to prove it. Yes, it would've been better, as a goodbye…

"Shirou…? Shirou, where are you?"

It was Sakura. I killed the image of the sword, stood at the door and looked into her bright purple eyes. She smiled back.

"Dinner's ready," she spoke gently.

I smiled back. "I'll be there in a minute. Thanks, Sakura."

She nodded cheerfully. "Be quick!" And she ran back into the house. I stepped out, locked the door and walked towards the house… but only to stop a few metres away from the dojo.

I glanced at it for a moment, sighed then continued towards the house. I was about to pull the door open when Tohsaka greeted me and pulled me in towards the kitchen, where Fuji-nee, Sakura and Illya smiled up to me from where they sat. I didn't know why this 'serene' scene displeased me but I brushed the thought away and sat down eventually.

"Here you go, Shirou," Sakura spoke softly beside me, holding me a bowl of steaming hot rice.

I smiled, took it and started picking my choice of sides: from the fresh salmon to the egg rolls and the fried tofu – _her_ most favourite. And as usual, when it was time for desert, Tohsaka, Illya and Fuji-nee argued over the appealing ones, throwing their hands in the air with either five fingers (paper), two (scissors) or a fist (rock). I laughed.

"Here, let me solve this," I said, grabbing the most delicious and appealing and gouged with a big scoop. "Mm… _Oishii_,"

Suddenly, the room fell silent and I turned to the three girls. I was about to offer them when they had tackled me down and playfully fought with me for the small cup of desert. I laughed and fought back, throwing them off me and continuing on my desert.

Sakura just giggled.

When the dishes had been cleared and the living room wiped clean – a plate of desert dropped to the floor and spilling out cream and ice-cream onto the floor no thanks to Tohsaka and Fuji-nee going all crazy, I retired to my bedroom and was about to slide between the sheets when my door was pulled open. I looked over and smiled at Tohsaka staring at me.

"What is it?"

She stepped inside, closed the door behind me and knelt down. "Shirou, if you want to talk, you know I'm always here for you, right?"

I couldn't help but grin. "I was right: you _have_ turned soft," I chuckled.

Tohsaka's cheeks were suddenly highlighted in pink, "For your information I have not!" She scoffed and crossed her arms, "Don't take the wrong way about me, Shirou."

I smiled at her and flapped a hand. "Ah, ah, I know. And yes, thank you for the offer but I am fine – oh believe me, Tohsaka. I feel normal!"

Tohsaka's face came closer to mine; her eyes brightly shining against the moonlight. I raised a brow and stared back at her with wonder. She looked like she had some kind of plan.

"What are you thinking, Tohsaka?"

She stared at me for a few more seconds, grabbed my hand and pulled me out of my room. "Come,"

"Hey, wait a minute, Tohsaka! Where are you taking me?"

"Just pipe down and follow me!"

I gazed down at her back; her shiny ebony hair tied with a single ribbon. I shook my head in amusement and followed her anyway. It must be some magic she finally found out about and thought better to teach me instead of using it as her own.

She suddenly stopped and I slammed into her back, quickly apologising but only to be stared angrily at by her stern-looking eyes. I blinked.

"Tohsaka, what's going on?"

Soon, her lips curled into a gentle smile. "Open the door,"

I eyed her, looked at the door and pulled it open. A wind pushed me back and I closed my eyes from its fury. When it had calmed down, I opened them and gasped.

"W-What is that?" I pointed.

Tohsaka came to my side. "It's sort of a family heirloom, though I found it out just a few months ago," she paused to usher me in. "Take a closer look, Shirou."

I stayed wary but I came closer and watched the shadows peel slowly, revealing its sparkling exterior and gold frame. I glanced at Tohsaka, watched her and looked back. Reaching out to touch, I took a deep breath and drew my finger down the mirror.

"It's beautiful,"

"Yes it is, isn't it? My father had told me once about this magical mirror. It can show us our innermost desires and if successful, the desire we want will come to life," she paused.

I quickly turned my head to look at her. "Tohsaka…"

Her eyes brightened. "Amazing, don't you think, its powers? I've learnt the necessities but I'm not entirely sure if I can get it done properly-"

"What are you saying, Tohsaka? You don't mean…"

She stepped up to the mirror. "I know how much you've suffered ever since the war ended and when Saber had left-" I looked away at the mention of her name, "-and being the good friend that I am I took the mirror out from the family vault and learnt the spells."

My shoulders dropped. "Tohsaka…"

Even if she was just being a friend, all her actions hadn't been in vain and gone unappreciated. If it weren't for her guidance and compassion, I wouldn't have gone as far to finish the war… or to even realise my love for _her_.

"Ready?"

"What? W-W-Wait, Tohsaka…"

She pushed me down to the ground. With a smile she turned her back to me and held her hand to the mirror. Closing her eyes, she whispered her spells. Immediately a bright flash of white light engulfed the room and it blinded me from watching what was happening. And before I knew it, Tohsaka was already on the floor and holding her chest.

"Tohsaka!" I came to her and held her, "Are you alright?"

She nodded slowly. "I… I'll be fine," she glanced at me with a smile.

"You don't have to do this, Tohsaka-"

"But I did," she pushed my hand down from her shoulder, "and you shouldn't be worried about me. You should be worried about her…"

I stared at her twinkling eyes. "Her…?"

She nodded, looked back to the mirror and smiled at whatever was there. I was scared to look but when a shadow had formed on the floor in the shape of a human, I took a deep breath and turned anyway. For a moment I thought I was caught in a dream, a dream where it can never end, a dream I once thought wouldn't exist. But when I finally realised what it was, I stood up and gazed upon the sight in front of me.

Standing there, in the usual white blouse, dark-blue skirt and black socks and shoes, was Saber: the first woman I had ever loved.

My heart leaped, thumped hard, and leaped again. "S-S-S-Saber…?!"

Tohsaka smiled, quickly creeping away and closing the door behind us.

Saber slowly opened her eyes, looking equally shocked as I am. "Shirou…?"

"H-H-How… How are you able to be… s-standing here? I… I don't believe this. Am I in a dream?"

Saber could only smile. "I knew you would be surprised, Shirou. Rin had warned me about that."

"Tohsaka? Y-You mean you two planned this all along? H-How is that possible?"

"Rin is a very powerful magician. You should've been able to realise the capability of her powers by now," she chuckled for a moment. "Shirou will always be Shirou…"

I softened upon her laughter. "And Saber… will always be my Saber."

She paused for a moment to look into my eyes. We knew what we wanted to do most but I wasn't sure if it was really her or just an image of my innermost desire. I was afraid of finally feeling the pain that had grown larger with every day that passed knowing that she wasn't coming back to me. Though, looking at her now, standing in front of me looking so warm and welcoming, I couldn't help but grab her to me and hug her with everything I had; with all the longing, the loneliness, and the sadness I suppressed inside my aching heart.

"I missed you, Saber…" I whispered into her ear. "I missed you so much. All I could think about was you…"

Her hands came around my body. "Shirou…"

"If only you knew how lonely I've been feeling ever since you left my side. If only you knew how much my heart ached knowing that you're never coming back to me," I pulled away. "If only you knew how much I still love you… all this while."

I raised my hand to touch her cheek. It felt warmth against my palm and I couldn't have felt happier for this miraculous moment. I'll have to thank Tohsaka a thousand times for this. Once would never be enough for the gratitude I feel for her doing in this.

"Shirou, I…"

I smiled down and traced her lips with my thumb. "Saber…"

I closed my eyes and lowered my head. When our lips touched, all I could ever feel was love and all the warmth I've longed for so long. It was as if I was picked up from the darkness and the realisation of our short bonding. I held the back of her neck and the curve of her waist. I've missed this touch, this feeling, and this taste…

Why did she have to go…?

"Shirou," she was breathless when we parted, and with sleepy eyes she looked up to me. I nodded for her to continue. "Forgive me, for I have caused you suffering and pain that I never intended to give you. I never thought you'd still feel this much for me when I had left, for all I expect was you forgetting me and moving on…" I pulled her in for a comforting hug. "Yet I could never imagine you doing such a thing," she continued, "because I knew you'd never be so cruel…"

I chuckled against her soft body and ran a hand through her hair. "Silly girl, why would I forget you? You were the first girl I've ever fallen in love with and I would never ever forget you even if had aged…"

She pulled away to look at me. "Shirou…"

I held my smile. "And as much as I cherish this moment, and even though I'm sure Tohsaka didn't mean to not tell me, I'm certain the parting is inevitable…"

Immediately she lowered her head. "I'm sorry…"

"No, don't be," I held her chin up. "Because I'm glad I got to see you again, Saber. And no matter how much it'd hurt me, to see you again was like a ray of sunshine upon me and I can never feel any warmer." I held her face. "I'll always love you, Saber… Memories of you will never leave my heart,"

Tears had formed in her green eyes and she wrapped her arms tightly around me, as if for dear life. Quietly sobbing to her head, I soothed her. I knew this precious moment wouldn't last as long as I wanted but it would be unfair for her to stay with me just because I wanted to. Even if she would be happy, she will never be as happy as she was in her own time. I will never take that freedom away from her.

I kissed her tenderly again. "I've always loved you, Shirou…" she whispered, her hand fused with the mirror.

I nodded with a smile, assuring her that I will be alright. And with her hand reached out to touch my face, she smiled into my eyes.

"Goodbye, my Master…"

And I will never see her as my Servant. Ever. "Goodbye, my Saber…"

But it can't be helped; she _was_ my Servant but she was more than that. To me, she was my partner, my friend, my enemy, my protector. To me, she was my sword, my shield, my one and only. To me, she was my Saber.

To me, she will always be my forever, in my heart, and in my soul.

**- FIN -**

**Proudly done by: sylversuicune-88**

**Date: 06-July-2007**

**P.S: Read and Review! Thanks!**


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